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An open letter to all depressed Yankee fans

May 5, 2012

Dear fellow grieving Yankee fans,

This past Thursday was one of the saddest days in Yankee history. The sudden loss of Mariano Rivera was felt by all of us. And soon after, like many of you, I began to wonder if the life of a Yankee fan was worth living anymore. I was so close to the bottom, that late Friday night after they had beaten the Red Sox (who are obviously at fault for Mo’s loss in the first place), I briefly entertained thoughts of becoming an Orioles fan. At least, I reasoned, I could then become immune to further disappointment long before another tragedy might strike. It was my darkest hour.

But early this morning, with the clear light of day before me, I thought of something – a curious fact. Did you know that the Yankees actually haven’t won every World Series since Mariano Rivera joined the team in 1995? It’s true. But you shouldn’t be frightened by this. In fact, of the 15* World Series that have taken place since Mariano began his Yankee career, our beloved team has won only 5. And this means that, astoundingly, other teams have won baseball championships without Mariano Rivera closing games for them.

I know that this is hard to fathom at a time like this, but I assure you that the logic is sound. If other teams can win a World Series without Mariano Rivera, we can too. We actually even did once, remember? In 1996 there was a man named John Wetteland who was the Yankees closer all season long. This was indeed a strange time – there was a baseball team in Montreal then too – but there is actual video proof of it happening.

So let us take this time to remember with fondness all the years that Mariano gave us, and not hold heavy hearts for what has been lost. This should be a time for celebration. Mo would want it that way. Oh, and we shouldn’t forget that David Robertson had an ERA of 1.08 last year in 66.2 innings of work, and hasn’t allowed a run in any of his 12 appearances this year. Yeah, that helps too.

*I have no memory of the supposed World Series contests of 2004 and 2007. This can only mean that they did not actually happen.

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