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What is going on here? Seriously, I want an answer.

September 13, 2011

Both the news contained in this short “article” on Variety.com and the way said news is presented make me want to kill the part of me that has hopes of writing for a living so that it can come back as a writer-zombie and eat the brains of all the people involved in what’s happening out in Hollywood.

Yes, that’s a bit of a run on sentence. But it’s practically F. Scott Fitzgerald compared to what you’ll see if you click that link.

Let’s get the “news” out of the way first though, because that’s bad enough:

EXCLUSIVE: Michael De Luca Prods. and Boss Media are teaming to produce “Olivia Twisted” with “Twilight” star Ashley Greene toplining the ultra-modern take on the classic Charles Dickens story.

This is a stunningly terrible idea, though not unsurprising. In the end, it’s simply another remake of a classic story which will undoubtedly rip the soul from the original and replace it with teen angst. I’m over it. Most movies blow and that’s the world we live in.

The rest of the article, however, is maddening to me. It’s filled with unnecessary abbreviations. Is it really that hard to write out a world like International? And I had to read it twice just to understand much of what it said, because it’s also not even written in full sentences. Here’s an example:

Project’s aimed combining classic Dickensian elements with a unique gothic backdrop.

What does that even mean? Translated into actual language, I think it says:

The project aims to combine classic elements of Dickens’ original tale with a unique and modern gothic backdrop.

Now, I only had to add 7 more words to make it readable; and I probably could have done so with even less. So why, throughout the whole piece, does the writer feel the need to cut words out of sentences that we need in order to read them in English? My best guess is that he’s writing in some kind of “bro-speak,” wherein words that most of us feel are a necessary part of our everyday vocabulary are edited out in favor of some weird and extreme we’re too cool to use words like “is” or “the” sensibility. I can’t be sure though.

In any case, reading it was such a horrifying experience that I had to share it in the hopes that someone else might be able to explain what’s really going on. If not, I fear that it will haunt me for the rest of my days… kind of like how the idea of a “writer-zombie” will now haunt you. You’re welcome.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. September 13, 2011 7:45 pm

    Hey man, I like you’re writing and I’ve subscribed to your newsletter. Just wanted to say something though.

    You should change your email settings so that people only get an email after you’ve posted say 5-6 articles, rather than 1 email for every single article that you write. I’ve been getting a heap of emails from you lately. I don’t want to un-subscribe because I’m a fan, but I’m worried that some of your other fans might be a little less accepting.

    Anyways just my 2 cents, nice article by the way. I too hate it when people write like that. It makes no sense.

    Like

    • September 13, 2011 7:52 pm

      Hmmmm… I’ll definitely have to check that out. Sorry if you’re feeling overwhelmed, but I’m glad you enjoy my site. One of the things I’ve committed myself to doing is writing on the blog every single day, so if you’re an email subscriber that means you’d likely get an email at least once a day as well. I’ll look into the WordPress settings and see if I can do bundles or something to help out though. I appreciate the feedback. Keep it coming.Thanks!

      Like

      • September 13, 2011 7:59 pm

        No worries. I’m a blogger myself and I love it when people give me decent feedback. I’ve been blogging for a few years now and I’ve previously had some blogs which grew to be really popular 🙂 Made me a few dollars anyway.

        One thing that I would strongly suggest is to look into using either Awebber or Mailchimp. I’ve personally had better results with Awebber, though it is not free.

        If you’re interested, in the next few weeks I’m going to be writing some blogging tips on my own blog (will be starting with basics though).

        Like

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